Ozark Pie

Are you watching season two of Netflix's Ozark?  I am, sort of. It's so contrived and crazy, but hard to get off the rollercoaster. The lives of Marty (Jason Bateman) and Wendy (Laura Linney) are so frenetic and stressful, one wonders why criminals (most of whom are very smart) just don't get regular jobs.

Ozark Pie (probably named for the geographic region of its origin) is a simple apple confection, and not really a pie at all. It's just that it's baked in a pie plate.  It is more than the sum of its parts. Favorite son-in-law loved the brown sugar -- but there's no brown sugar. It's just that the white sugar caramelizes so beautifully. It is really delicious, uses ingredients you probably already have and so easy to make. I'll bet it's something that Ozark's Ruth (or more likely her grandmother -- this is a vintage recipe ) would whip up in a minute.



The mis en place is below.  Cinnamon, egg, vanilla, flour, baking powder, salt, sugar, nuts and apples.



I love recipes where one is instructed to dump everything in a bowl and mix. Not only is it easy, but clean up is a snap.  For this, first beat the egg in the bowl, and add all the other ingredients (save the nuts and apples).



The mixture will be very thick.



Add the nuts and apples. It will seem that there's insufficient batter to cover these, but worry not.



See? Everything is beautifully coated.



Dump the entire mixture into a pie pan. I didn't grease the pan but you can give it a spray of PAM, mostly to aid clean up.  I used an 8-inch pie plate.



Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, depending on your oven.  As you can see below, the "slices" are removed from the pan like pie, but will not hold their shape when plated.



Vintage recipe card below. I followed the instructions exactly. I used two large Cortland apples, and about a cut of walnuts, and one teaspoon of cinnamon.  But you can add more or less of these, depending on taste. I baked it for 35 minutes.

Impossible Pumpkin Pie

Delicious pumpkin pie in just minutes?  Impossible you say? It's not quite a Thanksgiving miracle, but if you have a blender and oven, it's possible! 

This is a cheat pie made by placing all the ingredients -- including a half cup of Bisquick -- in the blender and mixing for about one minute. The pie didn't form a substantial crust at all; in fact, it was barely there, but the pie otherwise tasted like the traditional Thanksgiving dessert.

This pie is so easy and passed the taste test with flying colors, that I couldn't resist posting it. Aside from baking for 55 minutes, the pie took literally minutes to put together. (It took me longer to make pumpkin pie spice from the spices below than it did to actually blend the ingredients.)

Start by putting all the ingredients in a blender. I used the DH's fancy smoothie blender, which I can barely operate but, after pressing all sorts of buttons, it whirled everything into a smooth batter.

You'll need to grease a nine-or 10-inch pie pan. Spraying it with Pam, or similar, is the easiest method.
Pour in the batter and place in the preheated oven.  I put the pan on a cookie sheet lined with foil to catch any spillover.

When a tester comes out clean, remove from the oven and let cool.

Serve and enjoy. It's better with whipped cream, as is nearly everything else in life.

Production notes: I followed this recipe exactly, except I used softened butter in place of the margarine.  Of course, the first time I made it, I realized that I'd forgotten to add the eggs.(However, that version formed a more traditional pie crust. Go figure!)  But it took just minutes to whip up another one. If you don't have pumpkin pie spice in your pantry, you can make your own.

Upside Down Chocolate Meringue Pie

I'm thrilled to present -- on Pi Day, yet -- the most unusual pie I've ever encountered.  Unlike every other chocolate meringue pie, where the custard is chocolate, this one turns convention upside down. The custard is vanilla and the meringue is chocolate. Search as I may, I could not find one other example of this.  The recipe is vintage, probably c. 1940s. If not for the housewife recording (and possibly inventing) this gem, this recipe would be lost to history. Which would be a shame, because it is soooo delicious.

This upside down chocolate meringue pie is light, airy, rather addicting and pretty easy to make.
Below are most of the ingredients you need.

Start the crust by making graham cracker crumbs in a food processor or by placing the grahams in a plastic bag and crushing them with a rolling pin (or wine bottle). Add the melted butter.

Combine the mixture and place in a nine-inch pie plate.

Press the mixture into the pan.

Next, separate the eggs. Because the egg whites (for the meringue) are not cooked, I recommend using non-factory eggs, like those from the farmer's market.

Start the vanilla custard.  The lumps of flour will disappear as the cooking proceeds.

If you're not sure your custard is silky smooth, then push it through a strainer for extra insurance.

The cooked custard, below. Not sure why it looks so yellow in this photo.

Fill the cooled pie shell with the custard, and begin the chocolate meringue.

Whip the egg whites until stiff and gradually add the confectioner's sugar.

Fold in the melted chocolate carefully and spread over the custard. Be sure to reach the edges.

Tada! One indication that this is a vintage recipe is that proportions are modest.  Neither the filling nor meringue are "supersized."

The pie kept well in the refrigerator for two days!

Production notes for the crust: I used butter, but Nucoa is a margarine that first appeared in the 1930s, and is still available but with a different formulation. There's even a Facebook page called Bring Back Original Nucoa (which was dairy and lactose-free). I had to bake the crust about seven minutes, instead of five.

Production notes for filling: To achieve success, you need to beat the egg yolks slightly and temper them. This simply means that you place a small amount of the hot custard into the eggs while stirring to warm them before to the very hot custard. If you just added them, you'd have scrambled egg yolks. Although the instruction wasn't there, I stirred the vanilla into the custard at the very end.

Production notes for filling: I always use cream of tartar when beating egg whites, which prevents overbeating. I think salt serves the same purpose, though. Fold the melted chocolate very carefully into the egg whites to prevent them from deflating. I used a plastic spatula for this.

This pie was enjoyed with some of the fine people renovating my house, like Zeke, a musician and cabinetmaker who worked on my beautiful new closet, designed by Robert Kalka.

Lime Pie

Have you ever tasted a cloud? I did when I ate this lighter-than-air and beyond delicious fresh lime pie. Making it was a rather time consuming endeavor, but oh so worth it. I chose this vintage recipe because it is unusual -- instead of the meringue atop the custard filling, it is folded in, which creates the ultra light texture. The flavor is pure lime, sweetened the perfect amount.

Start by making a graham cracker crust, much easier than the traditional pastry crust. You can crush the crackers in a food processor, or do it the old-fashioned way using a rolling pin (or wine bottle). I did it in plastic bag to avoid a messy clean up.

Press the cracker and butter mixture into a pie plate and bake a few minutes.

Next, zest some limes. A microplane makes quick work of this.

Zest first, then cut and juice the limes.

This is where the recipe gets complicated. Beat the egg yolks in a double boiler (stick a bowl atop a saucepan), add the sugar and cook until very thick.

Add the lime zest and juice, and heat until this mixture gets thick.

While the lime mixture is cooling, beat the egg whites with the sugar. Then, using a large spatula, gently combine the two.

Place the filling into the cooled crust. Make some swirls so it browns nicely.

Bake until the top is browned.

Although I served this for company, you can see that it's a rather messy pie. But I guarantee your guests won't mind once they have a bite of this luscious lime cloud. A gift from the gods and worth the effort.

Production notes: I followed this almost exactly, but used regular, not superfine, sugar. (You can make your own by whirling sugar in the food processor for a few minutes.) I also didn't add the whipped cream topping because the meringue looked so nice. I didn't freeze the pie -- only refrigerated it for a few hours. I also don't see how one could freeze this pie, despite what the recipe author says.

Even though the instructions are long, they are very clear, making the recipe easy to follow.